Star Rating: 5/5
Steam Level: 0/5
Tropes: second chance romance, high school sweethearts, angsty,

Tw: discussions of death, loss and grief

slight spoilers below!

I read this book in one sitting by accident. I meant to just start the first chapter and maybe the first one hundred pages, but I found it was entirely impossible to put down. I kept on thinking, “Well maybe at the next chapter there will be a good stopping place.” But let me tell you there is no good stopping place because all you’ll want to do is continue turning the pages to find out just what happens to Sam, Jesse, and Emma.

This is a plotline I adore, but also one that stresses me the hell out. Jane the Virgin has this plotline towards the later seasons and honestly, it was a no brainer to me because I was #TeamRafael all the way. But in this book?? How on Earth could you possibly pick a team?

That may have been my favorite part of the entire book. It would’ve been so easy for TJR to villanize one of the heroes or make Jesse into some jerk after he comes back and discovers her with Sam or to make Sam be a jerk while Emma considers what she wants to do. But that didn’t happen thank God! It felt so realistic what these characters were going through. They both loved Emma so of course there would be anger and heartbreak, but there was never resentment or unnecessarily mean moments and I genuinely appreciated that.

Except I didn’t because that meant that I didn’t have a clear answer for who to root for. I was Team Jesse all the way. Like too bad so sad Sam but when Jesse comes back, you leave. But…then Sam was playing “Piano Man” on bars and being so incredibly kind and patient and a good man with Emma that it felt near impossible not to fall in love with him. (And God when he pulled up to the bookstore towards the end…yeah, I was sold on Sam). I stayed in a perpetual state of “Oh my God thank God it’s not me making this decision” because it was just too hard. I think it says a lot about TJR’s writing that she was able to make us fall in love with two different men for different reasons and not ever hate the other.

I really enjoyed Emma as our heroine too! Her grief and pain was so palpable. I cried so many of those tears with her. TJR is just a master storyteller and her use of the second person point of view really makes the reader feel as if it was them that became widowed. I also loved how Emma’s love for both of them felt real. It never felt like she was just appeasing Sam or was looking for comfort, but she fell in love with him truly. And when she talked about missing Sam, y’all, I started to miss Sam.

This is a book written with such care and attention that it’s raw and vulnerable. It pushes its reader to consider the effects of grief and the way love works. If love really only ever is confined to one person to eternity or if it’s possible to love someone and still not need them. These astoundingly philosophic topics paired with such an achingly beautiful romance (with two very hot and very charming heroes) make it such a delightful read. The only reason I didn’t make this a five star read is that I felt as if the actions happening in the book were so quick. It felt as if this all happened within less than six months and I couldn’t really understand how Emma could make such a monumental and seemingly permanent decision so quickly. Nevertheless, I definitely recommend this one!

You can see my memes and shorter, nonspoiler review for this one on my bookstagram here!